Wednesday, December 12, 2012

cliffhanger

a cliff,
a high cliff,
and a spot at the bottom
on the white carpet of snow
lies there dead
the dream
clouds cloud my vision
I swoop down and lay my hands on the dream
swoop back up and eat it all
I relish the flavor
I savour the taste
then I realise that the dream was not mine
but I have eaten it now,
so it is inside me,
I am the dream
the dream is me

I am.
 a Vulture

I wonder

 I sit at the edge,
     reflecting,
in the water,
    and in the sky,
 feel the cold wind,
brush against my skin,
   blood rushes through my veins,
 I smell that fragrance,
      which draws me into a slumber,
a slumber that I never wake up from....

wonder,
a strange word,
a strong word,
an emotional,
vivid,
word.
after all,
just a word.


Stories

There are stories and there are more stories. Stories are told to be believed in, to create a connect, to be re-told. Sometimes our real life actions lead to becoming stories. Sometimes they become part of gossip, which is also a kind of storytelling. Sometimes we expect it and sometimes we don't. I didn't.

 There are times when I wonder what must have become of me in that story that is going around? Will I be able to recognize that person if he walks into the same room as I? He will of course have the same face, same features, same everything. But his actions, his demeanour might not be me at all. There will of course be some close similarities, because the creator of the story is someone who I knew very well at a point in time. It is funny however when one hears a story about themselves from someone who heard it from someone who does not even know them. That is what happened recently.

I met someone after long and that person went, " you know what, I heard this about you. And you know the person telling me was totally judging you man." I almost fell off my chair laughing. That was because the person who was talking about me has never even seen my face. Forget having met me and interacted with me. I said, " you know I guess these people never really got a job, or have anything better to do in life that poke into unknown individuals' lives and talk about it. Let them. I would get some airtime in the process I guess :P"

However when one sits back and thinks about it, it does suck quite a bit. Why are people who had nothing to do with what happened between me and the other individual trying to judge it? who asked them for an opinion? Who asked them to take the hot seat and decide what is right and what is wrong for me. The only people who have the right or the privilege to do that are my parents and after them my immediate family members. About those who want to make me so important in their life that they want to spend time thinking and analysing my actions as to whether they were right/wrong, timed well or not, ethical/unethical... Best of luck. Please go ahead and waste more time. Because, I don't give a flying donkey's ass about what you think. I really don't care. Fine. You guys might have been important at a certain point in time, but your own actions and behaviours have alienated you from me. I have never been that hurt as I was when all my friends, obviously excepting a few, decided to simply buzz off, without even having the decency to tell that you know what I dont want to talk to you. I would have been ok with that. Absolutely.

I really don't understand how these things work. Fine. I did wrong. What do you care? Why do you have to have an opinion about it? How does that affect you and me? How does it affect the independent relationship that I shared with you as a general friend, or a contact of yours?

The crux of the matter is that There is a horde of donkeys flying out there and I don't give any of their asses for you.